My life, even after growing up and leaving the parsonage, was filled with crisis, self-destructive behavior, and the inability to reconcile God’s alleged love for me with allowing me to be born into a family where I would be severely abused. I had known Jesus as a child, and I had loved Him. I accepted him as my Savior, and to me, that meant He would save me from further abuse. When the abuse didn’t stop, I lost faith not in His ability to save, but in His willingness to save me.
Now, after years of Christian recovery, I am convinced that God never blinks.
He placed me where He wanted me. While I don’t believe He condoned the abuse, I do know what should have destroyed me, God has turned into a chance for Christian Ministry. In retrospect, I see numerous times where God supernaturally intervened to protect me. He hadn’t left me at all.
He brought surrogate mothers into my life at four critical junctures in my life, and they gave me what my birth mother could not. Even before I was born, God had made provision for me, and as usual, His timing was perfect. In the midst of my own pain, I had lost sight of the sovereignty of God. Fortunately, God remembered that He has all things in His control, and He never lost sight of the plan He had for my life. No, He never blinked.
Thank you, Lord, for who You are: the same God who planned the lives of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, and all of Your other children. Let me never forget that You see the whole picture from beginning to end, while I see only in part. Let me remember: it’s not over until You say it’s over.
Copyright 1997- 2009 April Lorier