With the divorce rate rising on nearly a daily basis, it is no surprise that people are wondering how to stop a divorce. The good news is that it can be done. Actually, stopping a divorce is relatively easy when you put these five steps into action.
1) Make Time for Your Partner
Your relationship will not survive unless you make time for each other. You need to plan dates regularly. Making time for one another doesn’t mean throwing the odd comment at one another over the dinner table, but actually making time so you can communicate.
Put the kids to bed, switch the TV or computer off and sit down and have a chat. Talk about your day, your feelings and any issues that are worrying you. By maintaining open lines of communication you are less likely to have disagreements and misunderstandings over trivial and mundane things.
Yes, you may still have arguments, but that is completely natural where two individuals with strong opinions come together. The fact that you argue could be a good thing if it leads to a nice making up session. One good suggestion might be that you never go to bed angry with each other.
2) Always Show Respect
No matter how long you have been together you should always show respect for your partner. Give him/her time for themselves. Don’t expect to occupy their every waking moment. Each of us loves our quiet time.
There will be times when your partner is going through a difficult time. The problem could be work related or personal. The situation may have nothing to do with your relationship.
Here’s one time you can be there for him/her. This doesn’t mean you have to solve the problem. Solving his/her problem may be totally out of your league, but help him/her know you are there for support.
The most important thing in marriage is for each partner to know that the other will come to his/her defense. Have an unwritten agreement about defending each others rights. As long as your partner is morally and legally right, you will defend him/her.
3) Humiliation and Insults are Never Permitted
You should never put your partner down not even in private. When someone loves another person, he/she shares intimate details of his/her life. These details are not for public airing. No one else needs to know the secrets the two of you share.
That’s why it is so important that you never get hysterical or historical whenever the two of you argue. If one partner uses the intimate knowledge, that’s been shared in secret, to humiliate the other, the hurt can be devastating.
Therefore, be careful and think before you open your mouth. If you do insult your partner, be quick to apologize and reassure him/her that this will never happen again. Then make sure that it doesn’t.
4) Appreciate Your Spouse
After a few years of marriage, it becomes very easy to take the good spouse you have for granted. Often this may include your health, your job and especially your marriage partner.
On a daily basis you need to make a concerted effort to show your partner how much you appreciate him/her. By now in your relationship you know your partner well. Therefore, you understand how to show your appreciation for him/her.
It could be that all you have to do is tell him/her what a great asset he/she is to your life. While on the other hand, you might have to show your partner how much he/she means to you.
Taking time to complement your spouse will increase your mutual appreciation of each other. The bond between you will grow making divorce less likely.
5) Be Quick to Forgive
Perhaps the most difficult thing in marriage as in life is to show forgiveness for wrongs others have done to you. This is especially true if the person who wrongs you happens to be one who is very close to your heart, i.e. your spouse, your kids or a good friend.
If a relationship is to withstand time, there must be forgiving hearts on both sides. Forgiveness stems from a deep commitment that both of you bring to the relationship. Both partners must realize that human errors will occur. That is one reason the marriage vows say, “For better or for worse!”
Sooner or later one or the other in a marriage will mess up. If your commitment to the marriage isn’t strong, you will hold onto this incident and use it to destroy your marriage. Here is the perfect place to put forgiveness into practice. If you forgive him/her, then when you mess up, you can expect your partner to forgive you. No marriage is perfect. There will be things to forgive. Learn to forgive the little things, and if a larger problem occurs, it is easier to overcome that situation, too.
If you practice the above tips, there probably will be no divorce to stop. However, if your marriage happens to be in danger at the present, the above tips could indeed save a marriage that should be saved.
Your marriage is worth saving! Believe me. I’ve been married for 47 years. I married my high school sweetheart. It hasn’t been easy for her to live with me all these years, but we have practiced the above tips successfully.
If I can offer other suggestions, please leave comments. I will address your concerns.