How to Tell When You Are Involved in an Abusive Relationship


Physical Abuse- Of all the abuse, this one is generally the one that is the most obvious. A victim will tend to have fresh bruises, on the face, arms, around the wrist areas, or even finger bruises around the neck area. Some of the different types of physical abuse is, but not limited to: punching, slapping, grabbing wrists, restraining, burning(cigarette burns), biting, cutting, choking, pulling hair. Having to be in a relationship, and having any unwanted physical harm is a type of physical abuse that you should be aware of. If you need to take a breather from your partner or loved one, and you are restrained by force, this is abuse. And bruises may not always show up, but if any of the above signs are there, that is abuse.

Step 2

Sexual abuse- This type of abuse is less evident than physical. Any unwanted advances for sex by the abuser is considered sexual abuse. Sexual abuse for the most part has been misconception in the fact that it involves children. But anyone at any age can be a victim of sexual abuse. Threatening physical harm to obtain sex is abuse. So is forcing a partner to have sexual activities that is painful, or against the victim’s will. Even tricking a person into having sex, or extortion, blackmail, having unwanted sex as favors to the abuser or a third party. Forcing a person to have group sex is also abuse. Any situation that does not have consenting adults, is considered sexual abuse. And of course, having a child involved in sex in anyway is abuse to its highest degree, in my opinion. Even unpleasant remarks, or unwanted jokes is a form of sexual abuse.

Step 3

Emotional abuse- This is the one that has so much gray area to it, and is not as easy to prove, but is still a form of abuse. Intimidation, threatening a victim’s life, constant yelling, or threatening physical harm are all part of emotional abuse. Those are the most evident to a victim, but there are other signs that are not easy to spot. Joking about a loved one’s weight, beauty, intelligence, or any other person’s attribute is a form of abuse. The attempt to make a loved one feel bad about themselves or their way of life is emotional abuse by the abuser. The fact that the person does not know tact is hardly an excuse for the abuse. An abuser will try to find a way to make themselves feel superior to the abused, by keeping them down, or in “check”, then tries to downplay it by telling them that they are doing it for the victim’s own good, that is a form of emotional abuse. There are many more emotional signs, but the bottom line is, if you feel like you are always depressed or angry about a loved one’s language or behavior, if you feel inferior, you are in an abusive relationship…period.

Step 4

Financial abuse- When the abuser decides to steal money from the victim, without any permission is considered abuse. If money is planned to be spent one way, and the abuser secretly uses it for his or her own gain, i/e drinking, drugs, strip clubs, gambling or any other endeavor, it is a form of financial abuse. Denying victim money for essentials in the relationship, is also a form of abuse. Spending set finances in a negative way, and doing it under false pretenses is abuse.

Step 5

Social and Environmental abuse- Denying a victim basic needs such as clothing, food, toiletries, running water, shelter, electricity, anything that makes a human feel like a human, is a form of abuse. Anytime an abuser denies the victim a chance to go out in public on a constant basis, because the abuser is jealous or wants to control the victim, is a form of abuse. Making any public or social gathering to embarrass you by “airing out” a problem is a form of abuse.

Tips & Warnings

Anytime you feel forced, pain (emotional, or physical),constantly humiliated, inferior, intimidated, or feel like “dirt”, you are more than likely in an abusive relationship

If you feel like basic needs are not met, like love, food, shelter, electricity, clothes, water…this is a sign you are in an abusive relationship

If you are constantly having to defend your loved one, or spouse, due to his or her abusive nature, you are probably in an abusive relationship.

Many abusive relationships do not end well, unless the victim finds the strength to get out, and fast.

If you are planning to leave talk to an abuse hot line to give you agencies that can help you and your children.

Gather people who can be witnesses to your account. They may come in handy if legal action is taken.

Find a person who can keep track of you at all times, a trusted friend or relative.

Tell people, in your family you can trust, that you are getting away from an abusive spouse or relationship.

Prayer, the power of prayer is a very helpful and spiritual way of helping you through these tough times.

Good luck and God bless