My Father

My father has always been a loving and caring person, we used to have
a lot of fun, he used to chase me and my brother around the house.
We was a happy family until my aunt Faye hooked him on to crack, he
started changing, my mom started to not like him anymore and on top
of that he drank a lot of beer, and one night he told me that he was
going to kill me, my brother Roderick, my mother then he was going to
kill himself. I told my mother what he said, than she grabbed me and
my brother and took us in her room then closed and locked the door.
We sat on the floor near her bed and listen to my father in the other
room yelling and fusing all night until he stopped. The next morning she
kicked him out and every since then my father tells me that he’s going
to start picking me up and spend time with me either go fishing, to the
movies, or out to eat, and he will do it one time and think that it’s
enough and I don’t see him for a couple of years, I only seen him twice
this year and he always blame it on his car.

He said that he will stop doing crack and get his body back together.
He’s still bigger then ever and he doesn’t weigh no more or less and I do
believe that he’s still doing crack.

He thinks that I don’t hurt, he thinks that I don’t care that he’s not in
my life but he is so damn wrong, I’m missing out on a lot of things since
he left, I wish he was like the strong, black father in ‘Good Times’.
 I used to pry every night before I went to sleep that my father
would be in my life, he never came and for a while I didn’t believe in
God I thought if there is a GOD then why am I hurting so bad.

I now know that he took him out of my life because he’s no good for me
but still I would’ve like to have had that father daughter relationship
with him.

I wish that my father would man up and take care of his responsibility,
I shouldn’t hurt because he’s a no good father.