What are the real differences between the sexes and why do they exist? You may snigger but once you move past the obvious and give the matter some serious thought non genital differences start to pop up such as how attitudes towards sex and porn differ and why women always seem to want to lose weight while men aspire to have muscles that rival Arnold Schwarzenegger in his heyday.
Women seem to try and occupy as little space as possible, are generally much more timid than men when in public situations, and are I have noticed, much more apologetic.
Men on the other hand, dominate as much space as they can, are not intimidated by others in the way a lot of women are, nor do they show the same consideration or sensitivity to other people that women on the whole tend to display.
Women always wish themselves to be smaller than they are no matter how diminished in size they might already be, whereas men are forever seeking to increase their size, to be bigger, larger than life, perhaps that they might be able to take up even more space than they already inhabit.
The most marked difference, to me at least, is how the majority of men seem somehow remarkably immune to what other people think of them, whereas women are forever preoccupied with others perceptions so much that at times they are in danger of doing themselves a massive disservice.
Another thing which to my interest I have observed is how preoccupied women are with how they are perceived by others, particularly in a visual sense.
This is of course most likely a natural reaction to the fact that women are judged first and foremost by their appearance, by how they look, and although to some degree every human being regardless of gender is evaluated at least partially based on how they appear, for men nothing like the same importance is levied, so of course they are in the main not so concerned with such matters.
An interesting aberration from this can be observed in gay male culture where the same pre-occupation with visual appearance that women display can be found.
Perhaps this does give some credence to the theory that men are primarily visual creatures when it comes to attraction, hence in a heterosexual culture the predominance of importance of a woman’s visual appearance, and thus in gay male culture where the object of man’s lust is his fellow man the same importance is meted out to visual attractiveness.
Is this though truly and solely due to the innate nature of man or could it at least in part be owing to how society conditions us, brainwashes us, nurturing our infantile minds into being?
Could it be that in a non-patriarchal society the sexes would actually place equal importance on visual attraction? After all women have an equal capacity to appreciate beauty as men do, an equal propensity for seeking sexual desire, if not quite as much preoccupation or obsession with it.
This naturally brings me on to the subject of pornography. The traditional view holds that women do not enjoy nor seek out pornographic material and indeed while research has been carried out which shows that men are still the main consumers of porn it’s doesn’t take a genius to work out that straight women don’t have a whole lot to get excited about when it comes to the world of mainstream porn which lets face it is mostly male orientated erotica.
And after all, if you are told constantly that something is for members of the boys club and you are not a member of that club, naturally you are going to feel pretty uncomfortable about pursuing it, even if you are not consciously aware of it. On a subconscious level the message is clear, “This is not for you” as Pearl Jam attested.
The majority of porn is not geared towards pressing heterosexual women erotic hot buttons but instead concentrates on catering to straight men’s predilections. The problem is a straight woman is unlikely to be optimally aroused by pornography which primarily eroticises the female body from a male perspective and in a lot of cases blatantly objectifies and degrades that body.
I mean a heterosexual man is not usually going be ideally eroticised by pornography with an erotic focus on the masculine so why should it be assumed that all women are capable of identifying with the feminine when watching pornography?
And why on earth would a straight woman want to watch other women getting screwed from a man’s point of view? She hasn’t got a dick for a start, she’s going to be coming from a different perspective, and the likelihood is she’s not going to have the same erotic switches.
The general lazy attitude that thinks that if women want to watch porn they should just ask their boyfriend to chuck on a DVD from his stash is based on the fact that women have always been regarded as more sexually fluid than men but is this not just saying that their sexuality and sexual preferences don’t really matter?
Lesbianism is more generally acceptable at least on the surface by our mainstream society not just because of the complete obsession that some heterosexual guys seem to have with it but also because it is thought that if two women rub pussies together they are not harming anyone because anyone without a dick doesn’t really count.
Leave it to the gay men to carry the can for wasting their seed and potentially threatening the stability and continuity of our society. It doesn’t matter what women want, at the end of the day if need be they can be turned and they can still be penetrated and impregnated.
It’s truly sad but it really seems a fully sexual woman with her own pecadilloes and sexual predilections fully catered for instead of an objectified, sanitised, idealised, but ultimately voiceless female that is the fantasy creature of most heterosexual male orientated porn, would pose far too much of a threat to the patriarchal status quo.