Though medicine and technology has advance in so many ways and in many areas in leaps and bounds. There is still one area in life that those areas will never be able to take the risk out of. Some women are able to do this without any life altering things happening to them, while other women can take up to months to recover from this event in there life. Almost all women go through this event, if they choose to. Or some woman simply found themselves in the position that they have no other choice but to go through this event in their life.
What am I talking about? What could be so life threatening to some woman but not to others? What is a topic that is discussed with all women but the depth of the realization of what really happens is hardly ever dug into. I am talking about pregnancy and giving birth to a child. We’ve all heard that there are woman who die during giving birth to their children but we never truly believe it because it’s either not happen to someone close to you or to someone you know that knows someone that it happened to. Or it hasn’t happened to you.
I think the other issue is that teens, who have sex, think simply that if I get pregnant oh well. Giving birth is hard, but due to the advances in the medical field it’s safer than it use to be; which is also the thinking of man adult woman. The problem with that kind of thinking is that it’s a double edged sword. You think you’re safe and you go through your pregnancy with rose colored glasses on. But if all you think about are all the things that could go wrong with your pregnancy you stress yourself out, which can cause issues with your pregnancy. The balance is to listen to your OB, do what she says, and eat right, exercise; even if it means just getting out and walking. Read books, but remember not everything you read is going to happen exactly that way in your pregnancy. I pray with all my might that your pregnancy goes nothing like mine, where everything I read nothing followed the book expect for the fetus’s growth.
A myth about pregnancy is a thing called morning sickness. We’ve all heard that morning sickness doesn’t just happen in the morning. You can either get it, morning, noon, or night. If your one of the lucky ones, you get morning sickness for the first month of pregnancy and it ends after that. If your one of the unlucky ones you get it for the whole pregnancy all day every day. Which you have morning sickness like this, its called severe morning sickness or Hyperemesis Gravidarum. This is something that 1 in 300 will experience during pregnancy and its not a normal morning sickness, also woman who suffer from this type of severe morning sickness will lose 5 percent of their weight or more through the pregnancy. When you suffer from this type of morning sickness, nothing you eat will stay down, even sometimes even what you drink to stay hydrated will not stay down. Basically you test and learn what your able to eat and if it doesn’t stay down doesn’t kill your throat on the way back out. Personally, I found that mint chocolate chip ice cream was the easiest to throw back up, not because it was soft but because of taste did kill me.
When you’re losing weight and your unable to keep anything down, your doctor will start to think of ways for you take in protein and hopefully keep it down. Protein drinks are a great way to get some time of protein in, along with your calcium and other types of vitamins. Sometimes it’s the prenatal vitamins that can make you sick, mainly the reason for that is that vitamins could have too much iron for your body to handle. So if you keep getting sick and vomiting I would check with your O.B to see if it’s possible that the iron is making you sick. Another thing your OB might recommend for morning sickness is and ginger, both have been found to decrease nausea, but if all else fails you might than be introduced to a anti-nausea medicine.
Anti-nausea can eliminate, reduce, or ease your morning sickness. Personally for me it only eased the morning sickness. I was still sick every day all day for six months straight and than month seven to eight I was sick one day all day. Finally when my ninth month approached I was finally able to eat almost anything I wanted. For me personally I wanted to see Spanish foods over anything else, salsa and chips, were my top favorite.
A lot of people will think you over reacting when it comes to your morning sickness. They will tell you, “Oh it’s not that bad.” Which of course you’ll probably want to slam whatever object is near by into their face, of course by the time your about to grab for that item. You’ll be running to the bathroom to toss the contents of your stomach. Or if your one of the one lucky ones you’ll have hardly no morning sickness or only have it for a month or two. Feel blessed. I wish I had known what that was like.
Now as your child grows inside of you, you’ll get to know him or her on a one on one base, though you’ve only seen him/her through an ultrasound picture. You’ll notice that you’ll either crave new foods, or you won’t. Or your child will be using your bladder as their personal kicking bag, which was my case, because my son would love to kick my bladder so I was always running to the bath to release in small drips urine. I didn’t have much of a craving for foods till the end of my pregnancy. I did crave once and that was for Italian sausage, which at the time I personally hated. I couldn’t stand the taste or the smell, but one night my husband was cooking it on the grill one night and I had to have a bit of it.
Or you will have the funs or could be horrors of finding out that certain things no longer taste like they should. Or certain smells make you sick to your stomach. For me that fish of any kind and hot dogs. When my husband wanted either, he had to go out on the balcony and cook them on the grill. Yes, he grilled fish sticks. If I even smelt those items I would be sick to my stomach worse than I already was, for the rest of the day. Ah the funs of being pregnant.
Another thing I didn’t know when I became pregnant was that almost every time you went to visit your OB you would be having blood taken. So if you hate needles or have a phobia of them, believe me by the time your done being pregnant you will know what it’s like to be a pin cushion. And that is nothing considering how much blood will be taken when you give birth or afterwards.
Close to the end of your pregnancy you’ll have to drink a solution that will test to see if you have pregnancy diabetes (Gestational Diabetes.) This test is debated still to this day. I have my personal feelings about it. Personally I feel if you are diagnosed with it, monitoring your sugar levels with a glucose monitor and watching what you eat, it’s very easy to regulate. Supposedly this solution comes in two flavors Cola and Orange. I have had the orange, the best way to take it is to close your nose with your fingers, and CHUG. It is the grossest stuff you will probably ever have to intake next to hospital food.
Before you head to the hospital to give birth to this little bundle of joy that is going to rip you open, reshape your female parts, and make you wonder till the day you die, “How the hell did THAT come out of THIS.” Your O.B. will mention to you about a birth plan. If you ask your mother, she’ll look at you strangely and ask you what the world is a birth plan. A birth plan is something you write up to give to the O.B before you give birth and you give to the hospital when you go to give birth, it tells the hospital what you would like to happen when you give birth. Like you don’t want any pain meds, and you want to walk around, or try a number of positions of pushing, that you want to listen to relaxing music while the lights are dimmed. For some they get to follow their birth plan to the period, while for the rest of us, nothing goes as planned, and that piece of paper is tossed out the window faster than you can blink. Most of the time, the dream birth you had, about giving birth isn’t going to happen unless you one of the lucky women out there. So be willing to be flexible when it comes to not following that birth plan, but if you feel something is wrong, say something. If you have a question ask, it is your body and your child that you are giving birth to.
Modesty, toss that to the wind, because you’re OB will know your va-jay-jay as well as you do and your spouse (spouse in this blog means male or female and wherever you are in your relationship with them.) Your first ultra-sound isn’t done with that nice do-dad that you see on videos where they move it all over your beautiful round stomach. It’s actually a long wand that placed between your legs and inserted into your womanhood, yes you insert it. Once it’s inserted the tech person takes control to move it around in search of that little life that has taken over your body and soon your life.
After nine months of being pregnant, visiting your toilet as many times as you have visited your OB. You think you’ll finally have some modesty and that it’s coming to an end. Sadly your not even close to the end of the race, you’ve only been practicing for the marathon of life’s marathons. Here is where your modesty is totally shot out to window and into space. Everyone will see your va-jay-jay and bluntly you won’t care all you’ll care about is getting that damn thing out of you.
Another thing you have to worry about is preeclampsia. Which is when your blood pressure rises above normal and your doctor starts finding protein in your urine. Your hands and face start swelling. Another sign of preeclampsia is that your start gaining weight, two or more pounds a week, or you suddenly start putting on weight in a couple days. The only way to treat preeclampsia is induce labor and delivering the baby or have a C-section. Listen to your doctor, ask questions, write things down so you don’t forget, this isn’t something you want to play around with it; it could mean your life, your child’s life, or both of your lives. If you have a question, don’t be embarrassed or scared to ask, believe me your O.B. has heard practically everything.
Labor is different for each woman, just as pushing is. Each person’s body is different and each handles a situation different.
It used to be when you went into labor you had to wait till you were 4cm before they would give you an epidural. No matter what anyone says you’re not a wimp if you choose to use the epidural. I, personally went a day and half of being in labor without having an epidural.
Now we’ve all seen the birth videos either by sex education or on TV. Let me tell you something pushing a child out does not take a couple minutes to a half hour to push that infant out, unless this is your second or so forth child, or your damn lucky. Pushing a child can take over an hour or more. A lot of women worry if they will poo, or other bowl movements will happen while pushing. Yes, you will poo, you will pee, and you will cuss, and yell. Yes, it is gross, yes you will be embarrassed at first but after a while you don’t give a crap what the hell is coming out of you unless it’s that baby. And you only push when you’re having a contraction, and you push as long and as hard as you can.
The one thing that many people don’t know and are shocked to hear is that the death rate of woman giving birth in the U.S.A has risen since 1977. In 2007 it rose to 13 per 100,000 pregnancies, meaning 600 deaths a year. Compared to over ninety years ago when one woman died per every 100 pregnancies, but with the technology that we have today, one would think that we wouldn’t have hardly any mothers dying due to giving birth. I almost became the 13th per 100,000 women who dies while giving birth. I lost over half of my blood, and ended up with 4 ½ blood transfusions, it should have been 5 but half of one transfusion my vein busted and instead of blood going into my vein it went under the skin. I also started to have acute kidney failure too. When all was said and done after I gave birth is that I lost half of my blood, my iron was depleted, my hemoglobin was 5.6 when it’s suppose to be 13, unless your having your period than it’s around 12.5. What is does hemoglobin means, is that the red blood cells carries oxygen from the lungs to the body tissue and returns the carbon dioxide to the lungs.Basically I didn’t have enough oxygen in my red blood cells. I was very Iron deficiency anemic, which means I didn’t have enough iron. After I gave birth I was on over 6 different iron supplements and vitamins, and other things I had to take for about six months to get my hemoglobin back to normal and my iron and other things.
Still women are dying while giving birth. They say it could be due to obesity and more women having C-sections, or the number of C-sections that they have had, the age of the woman giving birth or the race of the woman. Are these all causes? Or could it be that some doctors and nurses have become lazy or over worked in the hospitals. I have met some great nurses and doctors when I gave birth and afterwards, but I have also met some nurses and doctors that need to go back to school and relearn their people skills and how to interact with people. At least forty percent of maternal deaths could have been prevented. So is it the people who are giving birth or could it be the staff at the hospitals?
Now after you give birth to your child, your work is not over. While your holding this blood covered, messy, wrinkled infant in your arms or the nurse/s are cleaning the infant; you have something else to give birth to, it’s call the placenta. This is what the umbilical cord is attached to, besides the baby, while the infant is in you. No, when the baby is born they do not simply cut the umbilical cord, roll it up, and stuff it back in you. Sorry nope, wish it was that easy. Now you will have the nurses pressing on your stomach, hopefully helping you to push out the placenta. I did not get to see this part of my birth due to losing over half of my blood, and going in and out of consciousness. But my husband did and he said that thing was huge and gross.
The fun isn’t over yet, oh no. Now your va-jay-jay is probably black and blue and sore as hell. You’ll get some ice and you’ll going to feel like an idiot or more like a male jock that’s been whacked in the balls too many times, because you’ll be sitting there with ice in between your legs. Also you’ll still be bleeding you’ll be bleeding for four to six weeks, that’s what you get for not having a period for nine months. You also probably waddle a little because you’re so freaking sore.
Now you would think after hours of being in labor and hour/s of pushing you would get a break. OH NO! It’s no longer like it was when your mother gave birth and the baby would be sent to the nursery so your mother could get a day or so of rest, and the infant would be brought in for nursing or a bottle. Sorry nope, due to a thing called bounding which for some reason some person who thought they were the sharpest tool in the shed thought bounding should start right after the baby popped right out of you. So because of this philosophy you now have to get up, waddle and groan your way over to the crib-like-thing and take care of that infant. I have heard some people who have asked the nurse/s to please take the infant to the nursery so they could get some rest, and they were told no, because they needed to bond with the child, or because they didn’t have a risky birth.
People wonder why the woman who had just given birth is a total bitch when she returns home from the hospital. A lot of women no longer have the luck of having family close by to help them out. Many couples can only depend on themselves and each other when it comes to taking care of the new little infant. If you have people who offer to help you, take it, you might feel like your taking advantage of them. But in all truth you need the help, you need to know someone is there when you feel like your about to go nuts.
Yes, bounding with your child can be an amazing wonderful thing, but a new mother does need a break or you will go nuts. Take an hour or two to take a bubble bath when hubby or your spouse comes home. Set time aside for yourself, get out, get some mental free time. But people have made bounding with your infant into a requirement, or more like this great love story that you’ve read about in the to do books, and when it doesn’t go step by step as the, “Your Going to be a Mommy,” guide books. You feel like you’re the biggest failure. Especially when you don’t automatically fall in love with your child, while it’s resting on your stomach as its umbilical cord is being snipped.
Bounding is something that takes time, just as when you met your spouse. Some people believe in love at first sight, while others love takes time, such it is with falling in love with your child. It takes time and its something you should never feel bad about or even feel like a failure. This is a little person that you don’t know anything about, except for the fact that he or she kicked the living crap out of every organ that he or she could with his or hers elbows, knees, fists, and feet. So love isn’t instant and it won’t happen over night, it’s going to take time. There will be days you look down at that little pink bundle and wonder who the hell is this person and what the hell do they expect out of you.
Being a first time parent is hard, you’ve probably read all the books, and you think you know everything that could possibly happen. Well here is the surprise, something will come along and throw you for a loop and you’ll sit there looking at all those parenting books and wondering why they didn’t mention it in the books, or why didn’t something at least tell you this. That’s the fun of being a parent is that, that the child you gave birth to never comes with a parenting manual, it’s a test and learn process. You will try one thing and find out it doesn’t work, and than you’ll try something that some of your friends probably said never worked for them and it could end up working for you.
Another thing that has surfaced in the past decade is PPD (Post Partum Depression.) There are different levels and different time frames for how long it latest. Sometimes it can happen right after you give birth or it can happen a few hours, weeks, or months. It can last for a couple weeks, months, or years. This isn’t something to be played around with, it is something can affect your living, your happiness, and your well being, including your child’s too. It can affect your work, your marriage, your relationship; it can affect so many things that it’s shocking.
If you feel you’re depressed, you don’t deserve to be a mother, or you want to harm you child. Tell you general doctor or contact your OB. GET HELP! This isn’t something to play around with. If you feel you’re going to harm your child, place him or her in their crib, and calling a close friend or family member to come and help you. If you have no one to help you and your spouse can’t get off work and you know your going to harm your child call 911. Also if you can afford it I recommend you start seeing a therapist, who knows how to handle PPD or any form of depression.
One other thing is that you’re going to get all the advice you could ever want from family, friends, and strangers. Some advice you’ll want to grab the people around the neck and shake them for even saying something so terrible to you. While others your snicker under your breath and wonder where they came up for that. Others your roll your eyes and let it go in one ear and out the other. Still there will be some advice that makes you wonder, scratch your head, and than end up asking your child’s Pedestrian about what that person said. But when someone says something to you that you know won’t harm your child in anyway, and might actually help when the time is needed.
Welcome to parenthood the adventure that will never end and will have so many twists and turns that you’ll think you’re in a maze that you’ll never exit. And when you think you finally found the exit, something will pop up and block your way, and you’re into the adventure. This adventure in life is rewarding in so many ways, that you won’t know till your child looks you in the face and says something that leaves you breathless and almost shaken to your feet. It’ll hit you in the heart when they do something that they’ve been trying and trying and finally mastered it. This is a job you will never get paid for overtime, or even get paid at all for. You might be lucky and get a vacation without the child/ren but you’ll always be worried about your child/ren, they’ll always be on your mind. This is a job that will never pay you with money but it will pay you with love which is priceless.