Wedding Day Etiquette & Preparations For The Mother Of The Groom

Once your son has announced his engagement, after the celebrations have finished, it’s a mum’s duty & pleasure to start to plan for his wedding day.

As mother of the groom, you have far less responsibility than the bride’s mother, however, there are still many ways that you can help & assist your son in getting ready for his wedding.

The first role is to meet the bride’s parents after the engagement is announced. Sometimes this is a formal dinner, though can also be an informal get together. As you may be working together with the parents over the next few months, having a relaxed opportunity to get to know them can be invaluable.

One of the first roles of the engaged couple will be to draw up a guest list – after all, you can’t even begin to decide what church or reception location you will have until you have an idea of the number of guests. As parents you have an opportunity to provide a list of family & close friends who you would like to be invited. With modern etiquette, it may depend on how much you are contributing financially as to how many of your guests are invited. If the bride & groom are paying for the wedding themselves, then it may only be close family who are invited.

It’s usual for the brides and grooms parents to buy them generous gifts. However, you may prefer to pay more towards the considerable cost of the wedding and buy a smaller gift. If you can, do talk with your son about what he and his fiancée would prefer.

Etiquette rules say that the groom’s mother should wait until the mother of the bride has chosen her outfit and then buy hers to complement, rather than clash. Of course, many modern mums do not follow these rules, but if you have good relations and want to keep them with your future daughter in laws parents, it may be nice to abide by this old fashioned rule.

Your outfit is often one of the most formal at the wedding, usually a matching suit or a dress and jacket, finished off with a stylish hat. Make sure to allow plenty of time to buy your outfit and accessories, as things tend to get a little hectic in the weeks leading up to the wedding.

On the wedding day, you’ll be expected to help your son with his preparations and may be one of the people who, in addition to his best man, help him stay calm until the ceremony.

It’s usual for the parents and family of the groom to sit on the right hand side of the church (as you face the altar) and to have reserved front row seats. You may also be involved in signing the register after the ceremony and will be part of the procession back down the aisle, often holding the arm of the bride’s father.

After the wedding, there’s plenty of photographs, so make sure your makeup is still in place and that you’re looking your best.

Following this, you’ll usually be a part of the receiving line for guests, where you’ll have an opportunity to greet old friends and meet the friends of your son and daughter-in-law.

At the wedding reception you can expected to be seated at the top table with other close members of family and the bridal party. Once the formal proceedings are over, it’s an opportunity to spend time with guests and catch up on news with those you haven’t seen for a while.

Finally, after the bride & groom leave on their honeymoon there’s plenty of tidying up and little jobs that will need to be done – for example, suits to be returned, clothes to be cleaned and thankyou cards to write.

After all this, make sure you plan to have a day or two relaxing with your feet up for a well deserved rest!

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