What do I Deserve in a Marriage?

What do I think I deserve in a marriage? Well, being quite a perfectionist and an idealist, I suppose what I think I deserve in a marriage may sound somewhat unrealistic. That’s probably one of the reasons why I prefer to stay single.

If I want to get married, I believe that I deserve a faithful spouse in my marriage – someone who can stay faithful throughout our marriage. Which woman wouldn’t want a faithful spouse anyway? But I know that men have the tendency to stray at one time or another. So it may sound unrealistic to expect my spouse to stay faithful throughout our marriage. Nevertheless, that is something I certainly think I deserve.

In addition, I believe that I deserve a romantic spouse who knows the importance and value of romance in a healthy marriage. He is someone who will initiate romance in our marriage at times. He is someone who will probably surprise me with bouquets of flowers during our anniversaries. He is someone who will remember my birthday and will make himself available to celebrate my birthday every year even after we are married for a long time.

What else do I deserve in a marriage? Well, I believe that I deserve to be treated with utmost respect by my spouse. Respecting one’s spouse, to me, is critical for a lasting marriage. Thus, I would expect my spouse to respect my occasional need for  ‘personal space’ or freedom. He must also respect my views and treat me like an equal partner in the marriage.

I also believe that I deserve lasting happiness in my marriage. I know it sounds like I am living in a fantasy world of my own. It sounds like I am expecting the impossible. But I believe that if both my partner and I are willing to put in the effort, we can certainly achieve lasting happiness in our marriage. Incidentally, I believe that lasting happiness in a marriage can be achieved, in part, when both partners are consistently faithful and when both show utmost respect for each other.

To conclude, I would like to emphasise that all the aforementioned points – faithful & romantic spouse, treating one’s spouse with utmost respect and lasting happiness – are ‘key ingredients’ in a lasting marriage. Because I believe I deserve a marriage that lasts, hence I believe that I deserve all these ‘key ingredients’ in my marriage.

Copyright by Chan Hui Li Annie

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