Older Reddit Users Share Their Life Advice For People In Their 20s

Identify who your good friends are and make an effort to stay in contact with them. You don't need a whole ton of friends so it is almost always better to have 2 or 3 close friends than a bunch of loose acquaintances. It only gets more difficult to make and keep friends as we age.

If you marry, marry someone because they are your best friend, you share a common philosophy on life, have common values, and want common goals in your future. Don't marry someone primarily because you think they're good looking.

BE YOURSELF. Don’t waste your youth trying to be something you’re not and trying to make people happy that ultimately don’t matter. you do not need validation from your peers to do something you’re passionate about. just do it Spend time alone, get to know yourself. Love yourself. Be happy, don’t be afraid to fall in love and be heartbroken. Heartbreaks have the ability teach us the greatest lessons in life.

Take care of your teeth. So many people my age have mouths straight out of an anti-drug commercial, and you don't know whether to smile or kick a field goal when you see them.

Basic maintenance is important. If you don't have insurance that covers regular cleanings, look for a sliding fee scale clinic or a school with a dental program. I used to pay $35 to get my teeth cleaned and a set of xrays at a college, who used the procedures to both train and grade prospective graduates. Dental pain is a whole level of hell that Dante forgot to write about, and you don't want to have to deal with that. If you do end up with tooth pain, because you didn't listen? Remember that you want eugenol, aka clove oil. Now, go brush your teeth...

Eat properly. Exercise. Don't sit like a pretzel. Don't underestimate the importance of sleep. People in their 20's like to "brag" about staying up late, sitting in awkward positions, and other stuff like having strange eating habits or being able to consume a large amount of drugs (e.g. alcohol). You don't really get much out of it. If you think you do, there are better ways to get those same things out of life. Even if (you think) it's not affecting you now, it will always catch up with you. You only have one body. And like a car, it's easier and cheaper to take care of it than it is to fix/replace it.

Try to avoid thinking of your 30s as some kind of stopping point for fun things. Like seriously, I never understood that once I hit my 30s. It’s just my 20s with a lot more money. I don't know, I guess most of the people I’ve seen who were scared of their 30s were dull people to begin with.

Be the best version of yourself today. In a week (month, year, decade) when you are a different person, be the best version of that person. You will constantly change. Don't beat yourself up for your choices or mistakes, learn from them so you can be better then move on to the new knowledgeable you.

Learn how to fix stuff. You will save tens of thousands over the course of your life by learning basic to intermediate DIY skills. The best part is, because fixing your own stuff is a dying art, you can make money from it if you're even half decent at it. A good example was changing the mixer bar on my shower recently. A local plumber would charge about £80 (more if it was an emergency) to do that. It took me ten minutes using a single wrench and PTFE tape.

It goes faster than you think, so if it seems like its too late, its going to take a long time, do it anyway. Take the class. Put aside $10 a paycheck for the dream trip. Pick up guitar even though people half your age are twice as good as you ever think you will be.

Also, it all goes away faster than you think, too. Don't get attached to things. Don't be afraid to get attached to people and let them know it. You will regret that which you chose not to do more than the errors you made doing things.

Stop trying to make everyone around you happy, what matters in the long run is not their approval, but what you think of yourself and how happy you are. Obviously that doesn't mean to be a selfish, egocentric ignoramus who cares about nobody but themselves, but fact is, you can't please everyone, so make sure you pay attention to the people you like and who are good for and to you, not the ones who are merely there for the attention they get.

You are a full adult, equal in status and worth to any 30, 40, 50 year-old around you. Age and experience provide some value that you don't have yet, but by the time you do you will likely have lost the value provided by energy and fresh-faced enthusiasm. None of it matters, all that matters is the quality of your character and contributions.

I applied for and got my first ever real promotion when I was 27, because in my early 20s, I just didn't feel like an adult. I didn't feel like a part of that world, I thought I'd look like a clown asking for more responsibility, expecting other people to actually rely on me for stuff. The girl who welcomed me to the new department was like 21, it was a wakeup call.

Don't be desperate to do things within a time line. You are so young with so.much living to do. Don't compare where you think you are to your peer group. They may have a completely different agenda to you. Relish this time to enjoy life, be frivolous- within safety boundaries- but stop chasing where you think everyone wants you to be . There is enough time in the future to become all grown up. Also, if you feel like you are alone - you are not - most people your age feel that sense a lot - especially when they are exploring life. I know I was a brave 20 something year old - but I wish someone gave me this reassurance. Most importantly - YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY - MAKE YOUR MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM

The most important question of your life: What kind of person do I want to be? Most people never consider this question. The point is to prepare yourself mentally to be the person that you really want to be in life's moments. Especially in unexpected and/or urgent moments, when there is not time to consider your purpose in life before you need to act. If you see an urgent situation - an accident; a house on fire; a lost child; a lost animal; etc. - then you are the person who does what? How do you respond?

If you become an employee, a volunteer, a spouse, a parent, or any of a lot of likely roles, what kind of employee/volunteer/spouse/etc. do you want to be? Will you cancel an appointment, alter your day, to meet someone else's urgent need? Think about some scenarios. It could be that in an immediate need situation, maybe you are not always the best answer. So then what do you do instead of offering your personal help? Find other help? Send a donation? Just keep going? Etc.

When you look back on your life later, instead of thinking "I wish I had done differently in this or that moment", you'll have some satisfaction in knowing that you really did the best you knew to do in the most important situations in your life.

Quit smoking. It's expensive and deadly, and no you won't easily quit in 12 years. If you've never smoked, don't vape. If you can't quit smoking, try vaping. The line between having a fun 20s and setting yourself up for a lifetime of alcoholism is rather thin. Be careful. Especially in cities where heavy drinking is normalized.

Best advice? Nothing just happens .. the neighbors you see with a house, family, and professional job? They spent years of crappy dates, crappy jobs, and crappy apartments to get where they're at. If you grew up middle class you might see this in your town and view it as 'normal'. Its not. Many, many things can go wrong in life so its really a combination of luck and work for most.

If you don't want a conventional life thats ok too and I think thats the direction quite a few millenials and gen z are headed in. Oh, also.. all the euphoria you get with new crap like cars, fancy apartments, and electronics wears off quickly. Someone you date will think its fun but none of that is enough or necessary to be truly happy in life. And finally, pay deep attention to your passions and don't worry if anyone thinks its dumb or pointless, its your life. 5

Don't fall for the trap that your life needs to be one long narrative that you should be building. Life is best when it's a bunch of happy moments that just happen to be connected.

Don't try to make your life into a novel, make it a book of poems.

It's never too late to start again.

All in my 20's I thought I couldn't just restart my career or dump a useless boyfriend or go back to school because I was already on a certain trajectory. Made my choices now I gotta make the best of it. That's not true. You have no idea how incredibly young you are and how much time you have to do whatever you want to do.

When I figured this out, I found the man of my dreams, had a kid in my late late 30's, dropped my entire career in my late 40's and starting a new one at 50 and it's awesome.

Maintain your friendships. In twenty years you will be so grateful for those people who saw you through marriages, children, illness and health. People who will go for a trip with you, love your kids, remember you as a young person.

Friends are essential but they require work. Don't be alone just because you don't want to be the person who reaches out to others.

When I was in college, I had the chance to go to Europe but I passed because I had to work at a warehouse. I picked staying at a part time warehouse job over seeing the world. When I finally went abroad in my 30s, it changed my perspective about everything and everyone. Go to another country that is far away and different than your own.

Relax and don't get overly angry While others talk about material things or experiences the real lesson is to accept that things won't always go the way you want them to and that's ok. Didn't marry your perfect spouse? That person doesn't exist - align expectations to reality and appreciate those who love you for who they are. Or find new people.

Didn't buy the perfect car? Oh, well, it still gets you where youre going. Define your criteria for the next one and work towards it Didn't get the perfect house? Probably not. But it's yours and you can fix it Didn't get that promotion? Don't be so sure it would have worked out the way you think it would have. Vacation wasn't perfect? Are you sure about that, or were your expectations too high?

Point is, relax, enjoy the ride, work to your goals but remember none of it matters if you can't enjoy it along the way.

When I was 22, an older gentleman asked me how old I was and then told me, “chad303, when you are twice that age, you’ll be twice the man you are today.” I almost considered it a slight in that moment, but time has proven him wise. Here I am, twice that age and, in my humble estimation, twice the man than I was then. I believe this chiefly because I have learned that kindness is not a weakness, humility serves you better than pride, and cruelty is a fool’s game.

It's not a race! Stop comparing yourself to others. Just because they did things sooner than you, doesn't mean they're happier or better.

Try to start good habits. It is a little rough at first, but in a few years it will be second nature. Do this with things like cooking, cleaning, saving money and self-care.

It is okay to not like someone. It is also okay to have someone not like you (people are going to not like you for no reason. That is okay. It's a "them" issue and not a "you" issue). Don't be rude to everyone and give them reason to dislike you, but also know that you are under no obligation to put up with someone else's bad friendship. Also, there is no shame in seeing a mental health professional.

Don't take advice or criticism as a personal attack. Most times the people who care about you have observed behavior in you which is off putting, doesn't reflect who you really are or could be or would make you a more rounded person.

I came from a good but poor family that had lost everything in the 1980s. We moved to another state and I had to repeat my senior year after failing to graduate. Then my dad died from a heart attack. I left home for work in a city three hours away. Rented a room. Took the bus across town. Worked long hours for peanuts. Learned a lot about technology.

I joined a church and hung everything up to be a missionary for two years. Afterward, went to live with my recently divorced brother and returned to work at the same place which had grown in my absence. At 24, I started college at an age where most traditional students were completing a masters. I got married. Worked nights for five years getting us through school. Had a couple baby girls along the way.

At nearly 40 went to night school for 3 years while working full time to get my MBA. I've rebooted my life a few times now. I think the only time that you stop adapting, changing, and hustling is when you're no longer living. It's never too late.

Save at least 10% of your income starting now. Do not touch that 10%, get with a financial advisor who can best help you set up some savings. The first goal is to be self sufficient for a 6-12 months if you ever find yourself unemployed. The second goal is to one day be able to retire and be financially independent. The younger you start the better, I wish I knew this when I was in my 20s.

Take good care of your credit. It's very easy to ruin it, it'll take years to fix it if you do. Good credit is everything if you want to buy a house or drive a nicer car. Also means you'll be able to afford to treat yourself now and again because you can just put it on your low interest credit card and pay it off later. Pay your bills on time every month.

All jobs are work, even those that are "doing what you love" - a great way to start to lose your love for a thing is to mix it up with deadlines, money, and clients (who have different visions than you for your "love").

Now, it's another thing to have a job you actively hate that sucks your will to live. But there's nothing wrong with having a job that you tolerate, that has highs, lows, and just lots of work you have to get through that is seen as work. And then with the rest of your time, live your life the way you want to live.

I'm nearly 40 and not very happy with my life. My advice for people in their 20s would be to focus on the important stuff. That's where I failed. Don't put off life. That's where I also failed. I focused on building a solid financial base and saving a ton of money. Here I am at 40 and I'm financially secure probably for life. If I lost my job I could flip burgers and live the same lifestyle I've been living.

But I also have no one in life. If I was abducted by aliens today it'd be days or weeks before anyone missed me. No one on the entire planet really knows me. I get gifts from my family for Christmas or my birthday or whatever and it's stuff that relates to things I enjoyed as a small child because that's how they know me. I never pursued any relationships for the past 20 years because I was focused on financial stuff. I can't recall the last time I went on a vacation that wasn't visiting my grandparents. At my age I will probably never be married and will probably never be a father like I want to be. I'd give up all the financial security and career success I have to have someone I love here in quarantine with me. I ruined my life and I know it. Don't ignore relationships.

f you aren't SURE you want kids, make sure you ARE sure before you have them. I dodged a couple of bullets over the years, and don't have any kids. I see and hear all the crap other people have to go through, and I don't think I could handle that level of stress in my life. I'm very glad to be childless. Of course some people love kids, and should have lots of them. That's just not me, and it might not be you too.

Go to therapy. Figure out what your insecurities are, why you have them, and how to deal with so that they don't define the rest of your life. Talk about your issues from childhood and you're teens (yea, everyone has issues even in their 20's). If you don't do it now you will make decisions based on or driven by those issues and that will put you on a path you may not like.

Fail to plan? Plan to fail. Identify your goals and values. Don’t confuse a step towards your goal (job) for the goal (peace of mind, happiness). Don’t fight reality. Reality is all there is, don’t waste time wishing it was different. Don’t invent things that are not true. Reality is enough just as it is. Make choices based on your new framework (Goals and reality). Small daily choices are super important.