Reach Zero And You're Done: Hilarious Tales Of People Who Let Their Moms Count To Zero

Oh man, I'm old now but that brings back an old memory. When I was born I already had 5 older brothers and mom had an 8 year break from having children, then SURPRISE! NibblesMcGiblet came along. As the only girl, I sometimes heard stories of how bad my brothers had been when they were my age (probably told to keep me from getting into similar trouble) and I definitely remember my mom saying the only time she ever used anything to spank any of us, it was a wooden spoon on my second-to-oldest brother. Apparently it broke as she spanked him with it (he was a teen) and it left a mark and she vowed not to do that to any of the other kids for any reason, and then didn't.

UNTIL I had hair down to my butt and was the only girl, and at one point I thought that brushing my hair with a round brush would make it curly. No, it made it TANGLED. My mom spent a couple of hours working that knot out and then swatted me with the brush.

In my story, my mom pulled out a wooden spoon and hit the table with it to be very menacing. Unfortunately for her, she hit the table hard enough that the spoon snapped and the...round part went flying off.

My sister and I (two years apart) burst out laughing and my mom couldn’t help but laugh too. I don’t honestly remember her using/threatening a wooden spoon after that.

Tried it once. She gave a defeated sigh, then chuckled. Then she said something like, "you're getting too old." That was the day I became a man. I'll never forget my 32nd birthday.

I’m just piggy backing off this comment because it was literally an “oh lawd moment.”

My mum is quite deaf, about 85% of her hearing is gone. Well around the time it first started to fade she was in a foul mood, she screamed at me to tell my cousin to come downstairs and come and eat. As I turned and said “ok” and she could not read my lips I just heard her scream from behind me “I SAID GO AND GET YOUR COUSIN.” as she opened the freezer door, pulled out a frozen loaf of bread and launched it directly at my head.

I woke up about 90 seconds later with her sobbing on top of me and with a pounding headache, and she never hit me again.

We also got McDonalds after.

My grandma got so very pissed a couple of my cousins once that she started throwing whatever she could get her hands on. Shoes, spoons, brushes, but they were dancing around so much trying to dodge that they burst out laughing. This only pissed her off more and their brother decided to help her out by bringing the stuff she threw back to her so she never ran out of ammo, but this only made them laugh harder while simultaneously yelling at him to stop.

They reached a stalemate when they all got tired to carry on.

I used to not know what would happen when I counted to 10. My son has let me get there once, and it ended with me literally wrestling him into his pajamas and him going to bed without getting to read any books. He was very upset (and I felt like a terrible person) but he hasn't let me go past 7 since that day.

I got a privilege taken away.

After that would come immediate buyer's remorse. I'd do whatever it was she had wanted me to do in the first place, cry, and beg. And I never, ever got her to reverse her decision.

My mom's a tough cookie. And it took me way too long to catch on lol. I guess I wasn't exactly the brightest child.

I was an absolute tool when I was about 16, and my mom pulled the counting method on me for the first time in like 10 years. I defied her because I thought I was so cool. She never hit me, but she did start telling me everything I've done to break her heart, and man, I became a better person after that. I hope I'm making her proud.

I wish I never hurt her, she is an absolute saint.

It wasn’t really my mom but more of my dad, he will count from 3 down and when I started being a print I will sit there and stare blankly at him. When he made it to cero he started to take of his belt and after that... Well there is a reason I was the fastest runner in my class.

My gramdma was the sweetest woman in the world, until you did something stupid. We grew up in the south, and she had this bigss weeping willow tree in the front yard. She would prolong the experience by making us (me and my 2 brothers), go pick our own weapons of torture from the willow tree and clean the leaves off. She called them switches. Often, she would have me go pick the switch from the tree instead of my brothers. I was the youngest (she died when I was only 6 or 7), and I didn't understand that longer willow vines equals more pain. So I'd pick the longest vines possible, cause I enjoyed the sound they made when I swung them through the air. She could crack those willow vines off your ss like a damn bull whip. If any of us laughed at our brother getting it, she'd always say "I'll give you something to laugh about", and proceed to alternate blows between us. We didn't find it funny anymore after that usually.

Not my mother, becuase she rarely disciplined me and my siblings, but my grandma, oh nooooooo. When I went to zero, I got her classic little old asian lady move: a sock filled with pennies thrown at me at speeds I never thought possible. Sh*t HURTED.

My mom counted UP. And if I wasn't making moves, she suddenly became a sloth.

"Ooooooneeeee......twooooooooooooooooooooooo.......you better move your butt......two and a halffffffff........"

I was a puy, I never let her get to three.

A thrashing with the thickest, heaviest leather belt she owned. Happened all to often. The bruises fade but memories last forever. I have two kids of my own now and in thirteen years of parenting haven't resorted to violence once.

SHORT STORYTIME

Raised in an Asian household, near tiger mom all that stuff.

Can't even remember what it is exactly I did to set her off but she turns on her usual rage face and starts staring me down. Next thing I know she tells me to go to her room and grab her leather belt and that I have 5 seconds to get it or else sh*t is gonna happen. For the first time in my life, I decided to take a stand. First I told her I didn't want to because I'll just get hurt but the countdown continued and by the time she reached "1" I laid down a flat and calm "No." She tried to hide it but I can tell she was absolutely stunned. You know that saying "I wasn't thinking that far ahead"? If you were to translate that into a facial expression then you'll get her face at that moment. After about another five seconds of silence she just told me to go to my room. I learned two things that day: It might not always pay off but it's always better to try and stand up for yourself. Lock your doors because the fight ain't ever over

She threw a flash bang into my room then proceed to whip me with her belt. Did I mention she was military?

My mom stopped the car and told little me to get out. So I did. She drove 20 feet up the road but to little me, I thought she was driving away forever... I definitely stopped being a little sh*t after that, and never forgot.

I think I was about 7, and she never really punished my siblings and I beyond grounding, so I must have been really bad that day lol.

My mum once was smacking me with a wooden spoon, she smashed me over the arse so hard it snapped and the head went flying off, so I turned around, laughed at her, and asked "is that all you got?" With a sht eating grin, she then went and got a bigss metal spoon

Oh I have a story about this. At this time my sister and her family lived with me. One night my niece wanted to spend the night in my room. It was getting pretty late and she was bouncing off the walls so I told her “I’m going to count to three” and she just kept jumping on the bed. “1....2.....” then she asked while still jumping on the bed “what happens at 3” and I kid you not as soon as I said 3 her mom comes and grabs her and she ends up sleeping in with her parents. To this day one of my favorite stories with the most perfect timing.

Edit: my sister was not happy at all to say the least

I love this story but when my brother was a kid he wouldn’t get into his car seat one day while we were driving around. My mom finally started to count. Made it to zero and he didn’t get into his car seat. She drove a couple of minutes out of the way to the police station, locked us in the car, and got an officer from inside. The officer told my little brother if he didn’t listen to my mother he’d be forced to arrest my little brother for breaking the law. Scared the sh*t outta him.

He got right into his seat after that

She paused and walked away. She came back and told me she didn't have a plan for when she got to 0. She ended up grounding me and taking away half my stuff but that pretty much ended the countdowns.

I never let her count to 0, but my brother did. He was arguing with her and she was expecting for his apology,. And then she count to 0, when that happened, the broomstick was broken on his back (and it was a metal one). She has broke several ones on his back and legs, both from metal and wood. PD. He is kinda misbehave, and so much more taller and bigger than my mom, we are also "latinos" so, if you're one, you are going to understand.

I grew up when taking the belt to their backside was considered acceptable as a method of disciplining unruly children.

My mother is a tiny little woman who had a strong hand and raising us. Dad, for the most part, was always busy with work or with general house repairs, so he left "correcting" to Mom. One day when I was a teen I did something stupid and, as was tradition, my mother slap me upside the head. This time, it didn't hurt.

Seeing that the desired effect did not occur, she hauled off tried again. It still didn't hurt. She then switch tactics and started counting down from 5 demanding an apology for my stupidity. Just as a point of clarity I was in the wrong and deserved some form of punishment. I decided to call her bluff and let her hit zero just to see what the "or else" could possibly be. After all, I'd taken her best shot to no effect so in my teenage brain oh, I was effectively above the law. So, when she hit zero and I didn't apologize... She said the words that chilled my very soul; "Wait till your father gets home" It was then that I discovered that they were one step ahead of me and we're ready for my eventual rebellion.

I can still remember it like it was yesterday. My father walked in the door with a smile on his face and my mother immediately went to him and said "Do you know what your son did today?" She told him in clear detail, without exaggeration, the events of the day. He took this in with a calm, cool look on his face and ask me if what she said was true. I never lied to the man ever and I saw no reason to start then, so I confirmed her version of events. He asked me then if I understood what I had done was wrong and if I felt any remorse for my actions.

I told him I understood, but I felt no remorse has my mother is physical punishment no longer had any sway over my actions. Without any anger, and without any further ado, he hauled off and hit me once with the back of his hand which you sent me flying into the closet. He calmly walked over and asked me if I understood what had happened and if I had learned anything.

It was the only time he had ever had to hit me and from that point on I made sure I stop doing stupid sh*t.

My mom was at the end of her nerves when i annoyed her while eating dinner.I was annoying her on purpose and didn't took her warnings seriously.

So she took her spoon, got a whole load of mashed potatoes and catapulted it in super sonic speed towards me. I will never forget the sound when it hit the wall 30 cm next to my face. Also, will I never forget her desperate attempt to keep her serious angry face, after shooting her 8 year old kid with mashed potatoes. We both started to laugh with tears in our eyes and i found it sooo hilarious. Now being 27 and working as a kindergarten teacher, i am pretty sure she didnt only cry because it was funny. Kids can be exhauuuusting.

edit: I also remember my father using his "electro fingers",when we were to slow to get ready etc. He came up with a crab like walk, put his arms in the air forming little crab scissors with his hands and screaming " ELECTROOOO FINGERS!!!!" followed by a "Bzzzzzz"-sound ( like electric current you see) and then running towards us with his weird little crab walk and crab scissor heands bbzzzz-ing.

Oh i remember the terror it caused inside me and running away squeeealing. He rarely "caught" us and tickled us with is electrofingers. But just being chased like this...aaaaah, i still feel the adrenaline rush when i think about it now. It was very effective though!

My mums done this to my brother :') he had no countdown but was prewarned, forgot what he did but it was hilarious then I laughed some more as she projectiled the brush at him, it hit him and broke back then my brother was grannies favourite so he threatened to tell my gran my mum tried to call his bluff saying he wouldn't when he did my gran went "what did you do to piss her off to deserve it" ha! Now he's 26 he torments the crap out of our mum so she just goes to find the brush and he runs off.

Alright, I'm coming in late here but this reminded me of the time I went the distance with my mom. My whole life we've rarely argued and during my entire upbringing we only had a few actual fights... All of which were 100% my fault. The point I'm making is that my mom is a really sweet, genuine person who did an amazing job raising two boys on her own.

When I was 12 I had a bad day and got home in a mood. I wasn't quite looking for a fight per say, but I was being a crabby, snappy, negative jerk. Mom put up with it for a while and then had enough. I can't recall the catalyst but she wanted me to do something and I refused. So the count came: "3..." "2..." And I interjected, "1, BCH!" There was a stunned silence for a moment and then she looked at me with rage in her eyes. "I-I-I'm sorrrrrryyyy!" I pleaded but I had crossed a line and punishment was coming. She moved so fast, like a blur and I was frozen. I was taller than her but she scooped me up, thrust me in a chair and told me to, "wait there." Her voice had both ice and heat — how is that possible? She came back with a bar of Ivory soap which she jammed into my mouth. It was gross, with high notes of bitter soap taste but also a strange sickly sweetness that made me want to gag. And that's how I know that Dr. Pepper tastes like Robitussin with Ivory soap, a splash of prune juice and carbonated water.

I think I got grounded as well but the fear she instilled really did the trick

I stupidly said “wow I didn’t know you could count” and she beat the soul out of me.. I saw everything that had ever happened in any place ever all at the same time.. I saw every great extinction event in reverse and the thunderous slaps had fking reverb.. she beat me like a sexually frustrated teen beats their meat.. she hit me so hard I saw new colours.. Her grip was like a jaguars jaws on a gazelles neck.. there was no escape.

It was my dad and consequences happened: I had to take my bike to school when it was heavily raining, got there very late and completely soaked. My dad had intended to drop me off on his way to work, but I was faffing around. Well, he waited on the porch and started counting to three. I was still dawdling. He reached three. I didn't think there would be consequences, but when I finally stepped out of the house the car was gone.

He definitely taught me a lesson. I just wish I had a photo of my ~10 y/o lazy *ss realising he left without me.

Usually I don't let that happen, and I'm in my later years of High school so it doesn't happen anymore. But one time i was in a bad mood from school after sucking at sport (I'm not athletic and i get sh*tted on for it) and I made mum angry, she counted down from 3,2,1, and upon her saying zero i went a little sass and said simultaneously to her "Thunderbirds are Go!" and walked off the other way with no regrets to how I'd be punished. (Nose to wall kneel down for 45 min and Ipad confiscated till weekend, luckily it was just Wed)

Edit: I can see some ppl here are talking about how the Indian nationality plays a role and I concur coming from a Sri-Lankan Background.

I know I'm gonna be buried in the comments but I am getting a good laugh out of this post so I figured I share one about my Great Grandmommy.

I was around 10 or so, my brother was 7ish, and GGM was close to 100. (The woman lived to 104.) By this time in her life, her mind was slipping pretty bad and she was living with my grandparents. We were there for summer. My brother and I were running around the house and she was over it. From her chair, she hollered for us to, "Stop and get over here!". We walked up to her. "Yes, Ma'am." "Y'all boys take this and cut a switch from up front. No foolin' around. Y'all come right back." She then pulled a folded knife from her pocket. Her pocket-knife. I don't know how old that thing was but even at my age back then, I knew it was made decades before I was. Razor sharp blade that had been widdled down to almost nothing from years of use. "Yes, Ma'am." Fk. We went out and cut a shoot off one of the Crepe Myrtles. If anyone knows about those trees, their shoots are strong, crazy flexable, and thin. I'm pretty sure that all the "shwishing" sounds in old Kung Fu movies were made with Crepe Myrtle shoots. They have the ability to cut you if in the propper hands. We cleaned the bumps and sprouts off the switch, because who the hell wants to get whooped with a bumpy, rough switch? We then immediatly went back inside. "Y'all boys seen a pocket-knife, around?" In my mind I was thinking, "What?". She just told us to take it and cut a switch. I was very confused. Little Brother holding the switch and myself holding the knife, I said, "Yes, Ma'am. I've got it, right here.", and extended it to her. I was unaware at the time that she was losing her mind and her memories were all bleeding together into one, singular stream of time that had become her forever perpetual now. She took the knife from me. "Thank you for finding this for me, boys. Now y'all get that stick out of the house and I don't wanna see y'all 'til lunch time. Y'all go play, outside." "Yes, Ma'am." "Love you, boys." "Love you too, GGM.", as we ran out the door, swishing our new Crepe Myrtle sword.

We shrugged off what had just happened and didn't think of it again for years after.

She broke 4 plastic hangers over my back before grabbing one of the metal ones covered in thin rubber and hitting me so hard the rubber came off. I distracted her long enough for my brother to hide but she ended up coming back and giving me his beating too.

Sh*t man, my mom was a wooden spoon ninja. She got me once with the one with the hole in it. Man, that little circle welled up real nice. Had a perfectly round welt for about an hour. I actually think she never used that one again after that.