These Toxic Family Moments Are Just Unbelievable

The Mother Of All Egos

  1. u/my_name_isnt_zelda

    had my graduation from engineering the same day as my mother's birthday. I, of course, had nothing to do with the date choosing. My mother said I "ruined her birthday" so. she scheduled her birthday party to be on my actual birthday. Her birthday is March, mine is August.

That's an act of pettiness and narcissism. What kind of parent gets mad because her daughter GRADUATES? It should be a celebration, and besides we get a birthday every year.

Shower Privileges

  1. u/ilikesalad

    My grandmother. She raised me. As a kid, Sunday was bath day. As I got older I wanted to shower more. She would purposely say she was going to take a shower but never would. Then she says I could take showers at certain times but again, when it was my time, she would say she was going to take a shower but never would. I eventually had to get up at 4am to take showers because she was still asleep.

Okay, that's messed up. Your family shouldn’t forbid you to shower; it is a basic human right. Terrible.

Born This Way

  1. u/georgeharrisimp

    When my overly religious grandma tried to defend her blatant favoritism of my older sister by telling me that I was “born evil”

Well, that’s not very Christian, is it now? A very lazy justification for her actions.

Just Be Happy

  1. u/whatshiscramps

    Told my mom I was depressed and she basically told me to deal with it myself.

    That was four years ago and I’m still having a bad time of it.

Are you depressed? Just don’t be, easy peasy. It’s hard to understand why people ignore mental health issues, especially when it comes to their own children.

The Ones That Made It Out

  1. u/Prophet086

    My brother is the worst. He may be depressed or addicted to his computer or something like that, but he's just terrible with everybody around him. To him, everybody is stupid, nobody cares about him, the entire world is out to get him, keeping him from achieving anything. He's 28, without a job, living with our father. Our father is doing all he can to help him, but there's nothing to be done. This is, of course, after our mother gave up helping him after many years of putting up with him. In the meantime, my brother has been tormenting everyone who dares talk to him. When visiting my father a few years ago, I had a glimpse of my brother. It was tough for him because I'm getting on with my life: I have my own home, a cool job I love, I'm getting married, money isn't an issue... and him on the other hand, alone, living at his dad's, without a job. We talked, briefly. He tried and tried again to find ways in which he was better than me or to say that I'm stupid for x or y. He got frustrated, called me names, and left.

    I don't need toxic people in my life, nobody does. Cutting them out of your life will do wonders. Don't worry about them, don't share anything with them. The response to any contact with them will make you sorry you even tried.

Enabling this kind of behavior isn't a great idea; it's not good for the kid or the people around it. They need to evolve and be their own person. Sad to see someone you care about in that situation but it's better to separate yourself from them.

An Angel... From Hell

  1. u/nympho27

    Two days ago I opened up to my mother-in-law for the first time, ever, about how difficult my own mother's death was ten years ago, and I only did so because it was relevant to the situation. She pulled a sad face, and sarcastically and exaggeratedly said, "awwwwww, you're so sad because you have no mom," and then proceeded to tell me that I'm "a real angel...an angel in hell!" I will never forgive that mean old lady. She is the most disgusting, toxic, vicious, volatile, self-absorbed human being I have ever met. I swear to god I would laugh if I found out she died. Anyway, I'm so sorry about your toxic mom and I hope you are able to find the compassion and help you need. The fake sad face fills me with such rage.

That’s vicious. What kind of person says that to someone? She was being mean just for the sake of it.

Grandma!

  1. u/MeargleSchmeargle

    Though I know she doesn't mean any harm, my grandma seems to constantly be poking and prodding at the rest of us about things she doesn't like about us, or things we did in the past that she simply never lets go of. Nowadays it seems all she has to say about the 3 of us guys are negative stabs at us, and is part of the reason there seems to be constant conflict in the household.

    Doing a family therapy program to help out with the issue ATM. Fingers crossed.

Just keep it to yourself, grandma. It's already bad enough having those thoughts about your family, someone has to tell her there's is something called forgiveness.

Two Sides Of The Same Coin

  1. u/ultimateredditrabbit

    It's a story with a happy end. The crazy person is my mom's half-sister.

    My aunt has always been difficult. She could be very nice and caring, but then, for no obvious reason, she suddenly turned into a hysterical, screaming monster. Once, my mom, who has a key to her apartment, left her a present and a card in her bedroom my aunt on her birthday, and all my aunt did was screaming and yelling about "how dare we break into her apartment". A few months later, she was arrested for throwing a chair at her coworker. This led to her being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder. She didn't get jail time, but she had to get in therapy and was on probation for many months.

    By now, she is doing much better. Her therapist helped her a lot. It turned out that my aunt is the sweetest, most caring person in the world. I'm looking forward to seeing her next week. :)

Let's look at the silver lining; she got treatment and became her best self. Sometimes, extreme behavior is a symptom of a mental disorder. It does not justify the abuse but we’re glad they were able to help.

Bad Grandma

  1. u/SeeYou_space_cowgirl

    My grandmother (dad's mother) always treated me and my mom like crap. My family is a very traditional Italian one, and absolutely hate outsiders like my mom, who got pregnant of my dad before marriage at 21, mind you, coming from an Arab family, with a "weird name".

    Grandma made our life hell. Kicked me out of her house, offended us all the time, insulted us, went to our house when I was alone to fire all the babysitters or just to find something to complain about, told me how I wasn't beautiful or special than my cousins because I'm not blonde or have blue eyes or a lot of money, and every time a new cousin was born she would tell "well now no one's gonna like you anymore since our family have a new child now".

    When I was 10, anxious and with a lot of self-esteem issues, my dad found a well-paying job in another city 5 hours away and we moved. Best thing ever. The treatment completely changed, grandma is a sweetheart now that she's older and more dependant. Still don't like my family very much.

Umm, we get that older generations have different beliefs and a lot of them are very, VERY questionable, but disliking your grandchild because of their ethnicity… Horrible, just horrible.

And The Award For The Worst Mother Goes To...

  1. u/offsyrusostupid

    My mother used to fat-shame me a lot when I was little, she still does it but she's toned it down. She's also severely homophobic and she hates Jews, and let's not forget about the time she told me she would kill me if I wasn't in the same religion as her's.

Just pick one, Karen. You can’t just hate everything. It isn’t surprising that she would pick on her own daughter.

Bye Bye, Toxic Household

  1. uTheIrishGoat

    My adoptive parents kicked me out my junior year of high school for being gay—they had already known for a while, but my (then boyfriend) husband coming over Christmas morning to exchange gifts made them ‘deal’ with it. They told me to break it off or get out. I declined and came home one day the following January to the locks being changed. My MIL found out that I was staying with my aunt/what my parents did and immediately drove me over to make my parents let me get clothes/items from my room, and let me stay with their family, as my aunt didn’t have a room; I was sleeping on the couch

    A few weeks after that my parents show up at my MIL’s house with cops, claiming they were holding me against my will/brainwashing me. We told them our side of it and it ended up in court. I went through the process of getting emancipated while dealing with them and finishing out high school. I haven’t talked to them since I graduated (over a decade ago). I still hear about how crazy and manipulative they are from the stuff they do to my brother when he complains about them, but I won’t see or speak to them under any circumstances.

Trying to figure out who you are in high school, plus getting rejected by your own blood must be one of the most painful things ever. Thankfully, he had amazing people around him.

Wait, You Didn’t Die?

  1. u/FuriousNyle

    When I was six years old, my aunt (who was my guardian), faked my grandmother's death. She lied to all of us. Local churches, her friends, and strangers for sympathy and money. She wrote to multiple people asking for support. She needed money for a headstone and the funeral, etc. People bought into it.

    You can imagine our surprise a year later when we received a letter from our grandma saying she was coming to see us.

Excuse me? Not an expert but if you fake your MOTHER’s death not only should you get some jail time but maybe solve some deeper problems.

Can I Get A New Parent, Please?

  1. u/quadrisheep

    My father resented my mother for not only divorcing him but also for the fact the judge had him pay more in child support than what my mother was asking for. When he found out I was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD he started resenting me. It started with having me go off my meds when I visited him then escalated to him destroying my meds in front of me and calling me a “pill popper” because I wanted to be stabilized on them.

    I told my mom but she couldn’t do much other than chew him out. When he got remarried and had another kid with my stepmother things got to the point of him starving me and locking me out of his house for 12+ hours in Texas heat. When my mom relapsed after 20 years and my twin sister and I were put into foster care he told the court that my sister was welcome in his house but I was not.

    Needless to say I haven’t spoken to him in over 10 years and my family has rallied around me for support and basically blocked him from getting any information about me. Last I heard his wife divorced him and he was bitter about that too.

Mental health issues should be accepted and treated just like other illnesses. This kid had so much on their plate and having to put up with this horrible person must have been a challenge.

Mr. Psycho

  1. u/Tgaud82

    My cousin on my dad's side was basically a sociopath from childhood he tried to drown me in their pool he went to high school with my older sister and would pull his truck up behind her bumper and try to push her car into the street. He dated my girlfriend and used to beat my sister. A few years after that he stole construction equipment from a company owned by the mob and had to leave the state for years. About 2 months ago my dad calls me out of the blue on a weekday. An acquaintance of my cousin drove with him to their job at around 9PM dude pulled out a gun and blew my cousin's brains out. My uncle is the one who found him in his truck.

Yes, one would also say he is a sociopath and a killer so, we really hope he is locked up.

Your Words Won't Bring Me Down

  1. u/DearLocksmith7

    My older sister 20, and me 16 have never had a good relationship especially now that I have my own personality. I was always belittled but her growing up, being told that I’m fat and ugly anything of that sense. It doesn’t really bother me anymore since I’m more mature now and see that it’s not worth getting upset over but still it’s my sister obviously ima feel some type of way. Anyways we’ve gotten to the point where we have had physical altercations and to this day I can’t understand what she has against me. I try not to involve her in my life and barely try to talk to her but I feel like that makes her want to bother me more. Recently I’ve gotten into an argument with my mom and this is the perfect opportunity for my sister to blame everything on me and put ideas in my mom’s head. My sister tries to call me a disappointment every day or belittle me when she can. But I will never understand why.

Clearly, she had some self-esteem issues because if you bully someone that hard, there is something deeper going on and you are just projecting your own fears.

The Favorite

  1. u/PauseAndReflect

    My mom didn’t even bother coming to my college graduation because my younger sister had a softball game. It wasn’t an important game or anything, but she’s a narcissist who lived through my sister’s sports achievements, so she valued that more than my achievement that she couldn’t use to boost her own self-esteem. I graduated with a 4.0 but never got so much as a pat on the back from either parent for it. It felt bad.

A graduation is a really important moment and not having your parents there showing support must suck. Hope she has a better support system now!

Follow The Rules

  1. u/USERNAME

    My dad had weird shower rules too

    -not supposed to take showers longer than 3 minutes -only use "a dime’s worth" off shampoo (meaning a drop the size of a dime) -don't leave the shower running for more than 30 seconds without getting in (even if the water was still cold) (sometimes he would stand outside the door and listen for the change in water sounds) -clean every piece of hair off the floor, and my stepmom would "inspect" it regularly (and i was the only one that used this bathroom).

Once again, what's up with weird parents and the bathroom rules? TOXIC.

The Real Grinch

  1. u/Asak0pt3r

    When my ex-sister-in-law broke into my house and started painting my living room while I was at work. Apparently, she didn't like the colour and that would just ruin her Christmas.

Someone commented: “Sue her for Trespassing, Damage of Property and a few other things. Then she has an actual reason for you "Ruining" her Christmas.

Exaggeration Much?

  1. u/TigerBasket

    My dad threw a small mirror at me when I was 11, because I was sick. It sucks so much man.

That's horrific. No parent has the right to do such a violent act.

My Feelings Are Valid

  1. u/peepeemint3

    Something I've noticed with mine is that they just don't have the skills or vocabulary to really deal with it. I've always struggled with depression on a chemical level, and my mom spent a lot of time yelling at me and getting frustrated with me about it. A lot of "everyone else manages, why can't you?" or calling me lazy.

    My family is like that about a lot of things. Problems that they don't directly experience aren't real and those people just need to stop whining and buck up. I made the decision from a young age to never be like that and to always try to understand others' experiences. I never want to be like them or make anyone else feel like that.

Self-reflection is a major step for growing and evolving. Knowing you don't want to make the same mistakes your family did is huge. Good for you!

I Win

  1. u/idodgeyourcalls

    When I got put in a children's home at 6 and the other kids there were scared of the stories I would tell about my home life.

When your story makes other kids with similar backgrounds scared, you know it was really bad.

Where Are My Socks At?

  1. u/MyApostateAccount

    My birthday: "I got you a pack of socks, but I realized I can get them cheaper from somewhere else, so I'm going to return them."

    My brother two weeks later: "I think I'd like archery, will you get me this 600 dollar bow?" Parents: "Oh hell yes!"

    I never got the socks.

The least they could do is give the kid the socks. Hopefully, he got better socks at some point in his life.

I'm The Toxic One

  1. u/SpaceMarineSpiff

    No one thinks they have an anger problem until they punch out the clown at their kid's birthday party For whatever reason it really made me step back and ask why the hell am I so angry all the god damn time? Because my parents never wanted a kid so they raised me like a dog.

    You've got treats! You've got toys! Food and shelter! Why do you keep bothering me?

    When I dropped out of high school I was practically feral. No social skills, no discipline, not even a personality. The end result of neglect and emotional abuse. Its been a real trip to experience a supportive, emotional, and loving relationship for the first time as an adult though. I've really got the most wonderful wife on the planet.

One of the most difficult things ever is realizing you are the problem or the one with the toxic behaviors. My biggest congrats to him for the journey.

It's Not Funny

  1. u/Circecil

    The day I joined a specialty school and was informed that it was not, in fact, normal for my father and brother to relentlessly mock me for my Autism.

    Literally spent 15 years being called horrid things and being patronized for my interests, and I legitimately thought that was just what male family members did because my mother would never stop them.

People don't even seem to try to understand neurodivergent folks, that's why we should talk more about this.

Where Were You?

  1. u/Athmi97

    Whenever my mom would always tell me that I love my friends more than my family every time I get home from hanging out with my friends. Note that I seldom do leave the house to hang out with them (once every other week tops because I'm mostly introverted).

    It's even worse if I go out for two consecutive days or more smh. It's suffocating and stupid, really.

Yeah, toxic behavior, and the worst thing is you can clearly see how this Redditor tries to explain himself. There is nothing to explain, it's okay to hang out with friends.

We Have Guests, Behave

  1. u/cchings

    We had a missionary family staying with us, and the parents actually got input from their kids. The entire concept of being allowed to have my own feelings and thoughts was so foreign. My parents also treated us so much better when we had guests. Not getting beaten was so nice.

We all put our best face when visitors come to our house, but they took it way too far.

Really Mom?

  1. u/kalooboo

    I was 8 and sitting in my new babysitter's apartment having an asthma attack. I was very allergic to cats and my mom had left me with her despite knowing my allergy and knowing that she had nine cats.

    What was so important that she leave me there? She wanted to sleep with my older sister's boyfriend and needed me out of the way. She hadn't even sent my inhaler with me.

    I nearly died. My sister found out and got in a fistfight with my mom in the hospital hallway while respiratory therapy was working with me. They both caught an STD from the dude and I learned to always have my inhaler on me.

Well, that's wild. What kind of parent messed up so bad for both kids at the same time?

Fake, Fake, Fake

  1. u/betterplanwithchan

    I was at my grandmother's house and there was a guy outside working in the yard. I'd say roughly mid to late 30's, kinda disheveled appearance. And he had talked to my parents about payment for work and what else had to be done and all that jazz.

    He goes back to working and my mom comments on his appearance and how he may have "not gone to school." I called her out on it, especially since my parents go to church and keep Christian paraphernalia around the house. She stumbled for an excuse but couldn't find one to justify her behavior.

    My dad in particular tends to talk down on anyone who either he feels is beneath him or that he feels is "dumb."

How rude to badmouth hard-working people! Toxic and mean.

We All Heard This One

  1. u/[deleted]

    When my mom told me, "Don't tell me I'm wrong. It's rude. Even if it will hurt others, I'm not wrong because I'm older than you."

Oh man, the "adult" logic. "I'm older than you, you must not say I'm wrong." How original.

Terrible Advice

  1. u/ochristo87

    I was 9 and I was really nice to the poor guy selling shirts out of the back of his truck. My dad pulled me away and told me directly "it's great to be nice to people, Chris, but be mean too. You want people to be a little scared of you"

    Even at 9, I was like "bruh that's not... Great" and it really was an interaction that shaped our relationship.

Do not take that advice, having people fear you because you is not a good thing at all.